I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
