Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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