you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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