you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
