cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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