god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
