i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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