have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize