windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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