But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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