you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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