found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
