you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
