Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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