you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
