she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
