like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
