Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
