Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
oh god the rape fog is back!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Randomize
