actually, I'm a sock model
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Randomize
