I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
