it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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