I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
