he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
