She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
