Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize