We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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