I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
