Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
