It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
