Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
