I smell stomach acid.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
