I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
