I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
