yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
