i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
