Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
