so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
