I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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