I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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