dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
