oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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