I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
