If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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