She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
