Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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