He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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