it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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