We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
