Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't turn off my feet"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
