She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
