My nipple is on Facebook.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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