Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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