Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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