Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
