I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
