Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
