If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
