I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
