If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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